1
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,462
These are lean times,
my friends. Lean times.

2
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:46,630
That's right.

3
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:50,133
Sorry, guys. We are eating sticks tonight.

4
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,888
This is truly one of
the lowest points of my life.

5
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:58,183
Indeed. This is the lowest of our points.

6
00:00:58,183 --> 00:00:59,977
Sitting around, eating sticks.

7
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,229
But I have a nice treat for after.

8
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,522
- What is that?
- Twigs.

9
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,483
No, twigs are not a treat.

10
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,069
It is, after eating sticks.

11
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:11,613
Widgit, when can we get out of here?

12
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:15,367
Well, as you can see,
the lintel's now operational,

13
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:17,536
meaning that many portals
should be opening up

14
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,913
for us to traverse through shortly.

15
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,833
One or various of these portals
should be able to take us

16
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:25,544
to your time or place, or very near.

17
00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:28,964
Okay. If Widgit is correct, right,
then we will get Kevin home,

18
00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:31,049
save his parents and steal their food.

19
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,343
But you can just have the food.

20
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,387
Well, no, we want to steal it.

21
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,014
Okay.

22
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,599
And then we'll be on the run.

23
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,018
- Always running.
- It's what we do.

24
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,312
So, you're just gonna keep on
running from the Supreme Being?

25
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,229
Forever?

26
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,523
Well, we've outsmarted him more than once.

27
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,025
- Twice.
- Twice.

28
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,651
And we'll keep on doing it.

29
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,737
He will never catch up with us.

30
00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:55,115
I am the Supreme Being.

31
00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,787
Cower before me!

32
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,706
Fear me!

33
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:04,333
- I have a plan!
- Run?

34
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,542
- Run?
- More running?

35
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:09,463
We don't always run,
but we should swiftly back away.

36
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,715
You have betrayed me.

37
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:15,177
Bound to return what is mine.

38
00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:17,221
- Judy, we're backing away--
- And now, be afraid.

39
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,056
- No, Judy!
- Be afraid.

40
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,015
What's happening?

41
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:23,810
- Fear me!
- You'll turn into salt, Judy!

42
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,271
- Stay away from me.
- Guys, I don't think this is--

43
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,232
I am the Supreme Being.

44
00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:33,487
Cower before me.

45
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,197
I am the Supreme Being.

46
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,699
I am the Supreme Being.

47
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,702
That's the Supreme Being?

48
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:44,331
No, it's one of his
little suck-up helpers Casper.

49
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,791
- Jasper.
- Yeah-- All right.

50
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:49,586
Don't give him the map.
The Supreme Being must not get the map.

51
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,839
Judy, is this reverse psychology?

52
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:52,840
What's happening?

53
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:53,966
I'm not sure honestly.

54
00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,093
He's planning something
really, really bad.

55
00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,970
- What does that mean?
- What does that mean?

56
00:02:57,970 --> 00:02:59,388
I can't tell you. It's bad. He's--

57
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:00,305
- What?
- He's what?

58
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:03,016
That did not come from my mouth.
I didn't tell you anything.

59
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,560
- What?
- The portal.

60
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,270
Do not let him get the map.

61
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,187
Get out of here.

62
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,939
Take the map and go.

63
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:12,734
Do not let him get the map!

64
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,243
What was that Jasper on about?

65
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,160
Sorry, Mum.

66
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,037
Some kind of mind trick,
you can bet on that.

67
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:27,165
- They seemed mad about something.
- Yeah, they're scared of me.

68
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,126
Why would they be scared of you?
All you do is run.

69
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,377
I do not always run.

70
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,212
Maybe their legs are sore
from all the running.

71
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,964
I do not always run.

72
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:36,633
I don't know how this image of me
has gotten out there.

73
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,012
- There's your house.
- No. You've seen my house.

74
00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:41,346
It's in a cul-de-sac.

75
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,432
Well, I don't know what
the outside looks like, do I?

76
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:44,975
This looks nothing like it.

77
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,643
Perhaps your parents
have done some renovations.

78
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,395
Seems a little party's happening inside.

79
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,688
It isn't my house.

80
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:52,191
Yeah. No, I am a few miles off actually.

81
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:53,984
- Widgit? I was just wondering...
- Yeah?

82
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,569
And a few centuries.

83
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,992
It looks like we're in Georgian England.

84
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,203
Well, a pat on the back
for getting the right country at least.

85
00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:05,913
Georgian England? Really?

86
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:06,997
Plays will go on for hours.

87
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,540
People will come from
miles around to attend.

88
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:11,168
- This is amazing. I'm home.
- I am hungry.

89
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,170
- Yeah, I'm hungry as well.
- Yeah, I'm hungry.

90
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,464
Yeah. Well, where there's a party,
there's a food.

91
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,380
Yeah.

92
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:22,012
You cannot come in here dressed like that.

93
00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:30,521
Casanova.

94
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,315
It's Casanova.

95
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,468
Señor Casanova.

96
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:05,973
Okay, so you guys find a back entrance,
and we'll steal things we can wear.

97
00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:09,393
Gee whiz. You seem very hot-- Let me just.

98
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,405
It's a turnspit dog.

99
00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:23,156
Yeah, I don't wanna eat that weird dog.

100
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,409
- I'm not eating a spitting dog.
- No, you don't eat it.

101
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:29,371
It turns on that hamster wheel
and cooks the food evenly.

102
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:30,664
Kevin, it's not nap time.

103
00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:38,589
Rats.

104
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,216
Go. Go, go, go.

105
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,847
I'm gonna make sure
we get into the party. Alto?

106
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,808
You okay? It's okay, it's okay.

107
00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:52,102
Come on, mate. Be free.

108
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,314
Kevin, no one's going to
eat that weird dog.

109
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:56,231
Get in here.

110
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:08,118
Yes.

111
00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:10,412
Yeah?

112
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:24,968
My people.

113
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,307
Oh, my. Do you see what I see?

114
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,184
- The 18th century?
- Wigs?

115
00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:34,353
- Repressed feelings?
- No one that looks like me?

116
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:36,855
Food. Remember why we're here?

117
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,398
- Food.
- For the love of...

118
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,535
What are you doing, boy?

119
00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:53,455
I'm sorry. I wasn't going to.

120
00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:56,166
You weren't going to eat
one of my sandwiches?

121
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,418
All of these are your sandwiches?

122
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,087
I know this is a pineapple party,

123
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,381
but that's really just something
to entice people to attend.

124
00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:04,633
Once they're here, they'll be amazed

125
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:08,178
by my brand-new invention
of meat between bread.

126
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,264
- So you're the Earl of Sandwich?
- You're aware of me.

127
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:13,976
Yes, my invention, named after
its inventor, me, the Earl of Sandwich.

128
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:16,728
Tuck in whilst I tell you all about it.

129
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:20,899
I'm riding.

130
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:25,445
My hands are full,
for I am on a horse with reins.

131
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,073
The fox is running. View halloo!

132
00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,659
Whoa, Beauty.

133
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,453
My belly is empty. Whatever shall I do?

134
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,371
Have no fear.

135
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:38,333
Thanks to the "sandwich,"
I can ride and eat all at once.

136
00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:41,879
Now I'm at the card table.

137
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:46,258
I'm hungry for chemin de fer,
but I'm also hungry for food.

138
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:48,969
Why not set a place and eat at the table?

139
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,555
With this hand, I've got to slam it down

140
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:54,892
and exclaim "Huzzah!" as
I take the wretch's money.

141
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,060
A palpable hit, Valentine.

142
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,729
I have won back my wife.

143
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,065
Luckily, I have packed a...

144
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:05,068
- A sandwich.
- Precisely. Any questions so far?

145
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:08,113
Well, some people say the sandwich
was actually invented by--

146
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,573
By whom?

147
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:12,743
- You.
- Yes.

148
00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:16,705
Usually people are more impressed that I
have invented the perfect convenient meal.

149
00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:19,499
Anyway, must go.

150
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,211
It's almost pineapple time.

151
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,673
Who was that?

152
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:31,011
He's the Earl of Sandwich.
He claims he "invented" the sandwich.

153
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,347
Yeah, and I invented water.

154
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:34,681
Yeah.

155
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,308
Did she?

156
00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:53,075
The secret of acting is the ability
to express oneself without words.

157
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,910
Take, for example, the Bard's <i>"Ham-phlet."</i>

158
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:57,538
One can express "Ham-phlet"
using only one's eyebrows.

159
00:08:57,538 --> 00:09:00,123
Now that-- that's real acting.

160
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,416
A demonstration.

161
00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:10,342
"To be or not to be:

162
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,888
That is the question.

163
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,768
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind

164
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:23,647
to suffer the slings and arrows...

165
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,901
of outrageous fortune,

166
00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:29,903
or to take arms...

167
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,533
against a sea of troubles.

168
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:37,494
And by opposing, end them?

169
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:42,124
To die, to sleep-- to sleep.

170
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,128
Perchance to dream.

171
00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:50,424
Ay, there's the rub."

172
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:54,428
Bravo!

173
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,433
I know good eyebrow Shakespeare
when I see it.

174
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:00,601
You're quite an actor.

175
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,686
That's what I think.
Finally somebody else says it.

176
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:05,189
I should introduce myself. I'm Martha.

177
00:10:05,189 --> 00:10:08,525
I'm the impresario
of the Theatre Royal Drury Lane.

178
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:11,361
Let's cut to the chase:
I'm putting on a show.

179
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:15,073
There's a part in it for you.
Nobody else could possibly do it justice.

180
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,200
It has to be you.

181
00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:19,244
- What's the part?
- The best part.

182
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:22,789
I will see you at rehearsal
tomorrow morning.

183
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,208
Until then, my muse...

184
00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:25,542
- Yes?
- Adieu.

185
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:26,877
- Bless you.
- Goodbye.

186
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,128
Goodbye.

187
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,880
Get out of the way.

188
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,356
Hello.

189
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,317
Strange. Usually that works.

190
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,903
- Saying "hello"?
- Yes.

191
00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,405
And yet you're still conscious.

192
00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:59,034
Who does that guy think he is?

193
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,786
He's Casanova.

194
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:02,621
And what is he famous for?

195
00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:04,456
Seducing thousands of women.

196
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:06,917
Fainted.

197
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,585
- What else?
- That's it.

198
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:11,046
And how did he get
famous enough to seduce them?

199
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,422
By seducing hundreds of them.

200
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:15,217
But how were they seduced
in the first place?

201
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:17,511
I don't know what to say, Bittelig.

202
00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:21,557
I am the world's greatest lover.

203
00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:23,767
Is that like a list
that you put out yourself,

204
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,060
or someone else put it out?

205
00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:31,191
I'm not attracted to women who want me.

206
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:36,905
But you, you are making me feel
something I have never felt before.

207
00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:41,910
Bittelig, come.
I want to show you something.

208
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:46,623
Thank you, Widgit.

209
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:52,671
Behold, a normal, extraordinary map.

210
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:55,382
Now you see it...

211
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,385
Now you don't.

212
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:00,804
Widgit.

213
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,516
- There it is.
- You've got to teach me how to do that.

214
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:07,519
Is that a smile? Are you smiling, Kevin?

215
00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:11,481
I've noticed that you
seem a little sad lately.

216
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,192
- Yeah.
- Why is that?

217
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:14,860
My parents are dead.

218
00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:16,737
Yeah.

219
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:21,909
Well, I have my best people working on it.

220
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:23,577
Really? Your best people?

221
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,872
- Yeah, us.
- Yeah, yeah.

222
00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:30,375
- Here, have some pineapple. Here you go.
- Thanks.

223
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:34,880
Kevin, did I show you my favorite spoon?

224
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,549
Don't you wish there were five?

225
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,343
- Ready?
- Cool.

226
00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:41,595
- Blimey.
- I'm stealing these.

227
00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:44,765
- Find more spoons.
- Find more?

228
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:45,849
To steal.

229
00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:47,226
- Come on.
- Steal big ones.

230
00:12:47,226 --> 00:12:48,310
- Big spoons?
- Yeah.

231
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:49,228
Thank you.

232
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:55,901
Everyone, steal spoons.

233
00:12:55,901 --> 00:13:01,740
Spoons. They have the key to
traveling throughout space and time,

234
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:04,284
and they use it to steal spoons.

235
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,663
Knives and forks, I could understand:
They are sharp.

236
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,457
They are pointy.

237
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,795
Yeah, I know. I reckon spoons can be evil.

238
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,255
Yeah, like when you're washing them.

239
00:13:16,255 --> 00:13:19,258
You know, the water goes at the wrong
angle, just, like, sprays everywhere.

240
00:13:19,258 --> 00:13:23,512
Yeah, I think spoons can be evil.

241
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,228
I am fear given form. Never correct me.

242
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,522
I didn't correct you. I was--

243
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:44,032
Everybody, "shush-y," shush.

244
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,200
Derek, please.

245
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,201
Me again.

246
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:48,120
Earl of Sandwich,
inventor of the sandwich.

247
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:54,459
It's time to look--
just look at the pineapple.

248
00:13:55,127 --> 00:13:56,295
Follow me.

249
00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:58,881
Excuse me.

250
00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:02,926
- Why did they call it a pineapple party?
- They have an actual pineapple here.

251
00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,803
Sorry, wrong way. My big house.

252
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,353
The horror, the horror.

253
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,938
This is a heinous crime.

254
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:16,565
Were we not supposed to eat the pineapple?

255
00:14:16,565 --> 00:14:19,234
That is an extremely rare

256
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:24,323
and precious piece of
fruitery for display purposes only.

257
00:14:24,323 --> 00:14:27,367
I know they're expensive,
but it is just a slightly tough pineapple.

258
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,163
Just a pineapple?

259
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,166
Just a pineapple?

260
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,251
Our life savings went into that.

261
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,462
We were renting that pineapple.

262
00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:41,089
I shall die in a debtor's prison,
being poked with pointed sticks

263
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,967
and called a shabaroon and
a cucumber-eater by all and sundry.

264
00:14:45,636 --> 00:14:48,680
But I just wanna be
absolutely clear about this.

265
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,099
So pineapples are very expensive
in Georgian times?

266
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,602
- Yes, you dolt.
- Except that we've eaten it.

267
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,938
- Clearly.
- I'm sure we can replace it.

268
00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,399
You, replace it?

269
00:15:00,359 --> 00:15:03,153
You're covered in rags
and flour and vegetables.

270
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:05,989
Am I meant to believe
you can afford a pineapple?

271
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:08,825
Apparently, Neil Groves
had five pineapples

272
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,370
at his tropical-themed birthday party.

273
00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:13,121
Neil Groves, Neil Groves...

274
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:15,916
Did you see these
five pineapples of Neil Groves?

275
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,168
I wasn't invited.

276
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:21,713
No. Nor were you invited here.

277
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:27,010
To think I, the Earl of Sandwich,
invited this addlepated child

278
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:30,305
to enjoy my incredible invention,
the sandwich.

279
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,557
If it is your invention.

280
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:34,101
I'm sorry?

281
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,894
Some people think you copied the idea

282
00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:39,398
after seeing pita bread
and canapés in the Mediterranean.

283
00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:41,400
Someone, roll back my sleeves.

284
00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:46,655
Thank you.

285
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,950
You have twice insulted my household.

286
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,618
You have called me a liar.

287
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:54,705
And worse, you have eaten my pineapple.

288
00:15:54,705 --> 00:15:58,667
I hereby challenge you to a duel.

289
00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:03,589
Come on, he's a child.
No one's gonna wanna see that.

290
00:16:03,589 --> 00:16:04,673
He'll be terrible at it.

291
00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:08,051
Are you telling me that I cannot challenge
someone who has insulted me to a duel?

292
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:11,346
That is an insult,
so I challenge you to a duel.

293
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,307
Well, wait a minute. Maybe he could do it.

294
00:16:13,307 --> 00:16:14,892
You scoundrel.

295
00:16:14,892 --> 00:16:19,313
I shall see you in the dueling pit
tomorrow afternoon, sir.

296
00:16:20,314 --> 00:16:21,940
- Now run, Penelope?
- Yeah.

297
00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:23,942
Yes. Run, coward.

298
00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:31,074
You did not just call me that.

299
00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:31,992
But I did.

300
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:36,246
Then I accept your challenge,
and I challenge you to a duel.

301
00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:40,459
I've already challenged you to a duel.
You can't challenge me back.

302
00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:42,085
- They're dueling duels.
- Yeah.

303
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:44,796
- I'd laugh sneeringly at your ignorance.
- All right, then laugh.

304
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:10,989
A duel, sir. Tomorrow at noon.

305
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,577
Penelope...

306
00:17:17,621 --> 00:17:19,498
you can't fight in this duel.

307
00:17:19,498 --> 00:17:24,169
No, I have to fight this duel.
It's a matter of honor.

308
00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:29,049
I don't think made-up ideas like
honor or cowardice are worth dying for.

309
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:31,426
And well, if you're dead
and then my parents are dead,

310
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:34,054
and-- It's just-- It's too much.

311
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:37,182
But if you were challenged to a duel,
what would you do?

312
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,060
Well, I'd tell a teacher or another adult.

313
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,604
Okay, great. Yes, I'll tell another adult.

314
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:45,482
- Hey, Widgit. I'm fighting in a duel.
- Cool.

315
00:17:46,692 --> 00:17:50,112
Now, Penelope,
violence is never the answer.

316
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:51,697
I think we should leave.

317
00:17:51,697 --> 00:17:54,616
Leave? We can't leave yet. I've got a gig.

318
00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:56,994
It's at the Theatre Royal
tomorrow afternoon.

319
00:17:56,994 --> 00:17:58,620
People here love the theater so much.

320
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:01,540
It starts early
and goes on for hours and hours.

321
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:03,125
You all have to come.

322
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:06,128
Yeah-- Alto, you're inviting us
to a really long play,

323
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:07,754
and you expect us to actually come?

324
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:15,012
That's nice. That's just fantastic.

325
00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:19,600
The one time I need a little support,
"Sorry, we're having a duel."

326
00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:23,312
I'm going to reserve you five seats,
and I expect you all to be there!

327
00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:30,027
He does love a speech, doesn't he?

328
00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:33,572
Penelope, no one cares if you chicken out.

329
00:18:33,572 --> 00:18:36,450
I thought we always ran.
I thought it was our thing.

330
00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:39,244
Listen, I don't know what
you're all so worried about, okay?

331
00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:42,456
All I have to do is shoot
him before he shoots me.

332
00:18:43,457 --> 00:18:44,291
No!

333
00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:08,982
Flippin' hell, it's freezing.

334
00:19:10,901 --> 00:19:12,402
Kevin!

335
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:15,113
Oh, my gosh. This is misery.

336
00:19:18,659 --> 00:19:20,577
Fianna, what news of your progress?

337
00:19:21,078 --> 00:19:23,288
I've not got them yet,
but on the plus side,

338
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:25,415
I've been visiting a lot of new places.

339
00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:27,501
How nice for you.

340
00:19:27,501 --> 00:19:30,170
But you are close to these bandits,
are you not?

341
00:19:30,796 --> 00:19:34,174
Yeah, pretty much.
I mean, I took a little detour, so...

342
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:36,677
Well, I wouldn't want
to take any more detours,

343
00:19:36,677 --> 00:19:38,971
not unless you want to get what John got.

344
00:19:38,971 --> 00:19:41,098
Do you want a bit of what John got?

345
00:19:41,098 --> 00:19:42,474
No, probably not.

346
00:19:42,975 --> 00:19:45,811
You definitely don't want what John got.

347
00:19:45,811 --> 00:19:47,479
Bring me the map.

348
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,071
Judy.

349
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,450
It is me, Casanova.

350
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,830
- I just made a horse faint.
- Okay.

351
00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:09,668
You are radiant
and wonderful and so interesting.

352
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:13,297
And indifferent to me,
which is very attractive.

353
00:20:13,881 --> 00:20:16,216
Guys, please. Look, I'm trying to sleep.

354
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:17,843
I need to rest my reactions, yeah?

355
00:20:17,843 --> 00:20:19,469
Charging up my acting.

356
00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:22,264
These eyebrows,
they need their beauty sleep, okay?

357
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,392
Thanks in advance.
Just keep it down, both of you.

358
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:29,313
Judy, run away with me.

359
00:20:30,939 --> 00:20:34,276
I have to hit the hay.
I literally sleep on the hay, so...

360
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,164
Oh, Gavin.

361
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:08,101
- There's an anomaly here.
- You think they've been here, ma'am?

362
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:11,563
I do. I think the Time Bandits
have been here and they have the map.

363
00:21:12,064 --> 00:21:13,941
Yeah, of course they have the map.

364
00:21:13,941 --> 00:21:16,485
If they didn't have the map,
how would they have been here?

365
00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:19,363
They're leaving portals open.
Things are drifting across time.

366
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,407
It's dangerous. It's very dangerous.

367
00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:25,160
Leaving portals open is a terrible idea.
Even I know that.

368
00:21:25,744 --> 00:21:27,746
We need to report back to
the Supreme Being straightaway.

369
00:21:28,372 --> 00:21:30,290
Yeah. Yeah, we could do that.

370
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:34,378
We've been sent by him

371
00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:37,381
specifically to report our findings
so that he can track the Bandits.

372
00:21:37,881 --> 00:21:39,091
We have to follow his orders.

373
00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:42,719
And I'm saying we could do what he wants.

374
00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:44,721
Of course we could.

375
00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:46,306
Well, what else would we do?

376
00:21:46,807 --> 00:21:49,101
There are some people
I think you should talk to first.

377
00:21:49,101 --> 00:21:50,310
What people?

378
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,979
People like me, you know?

379
00:21:51,979 --> 00:21:55,482
People who've had enough
of doing exactly what we're told to do.

380
00:21:56,191 --> 00:21:58,944
But if we don't do what we're told to do,
what do we do?

381
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,321
You'll see.

382
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,827
Widgit, last night after I laid down,

383
00:22:06,827 --> 00:22:11,331
I saw pictures of sky
and people doing magical things,

384
00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:13,542
but my eyes were closed.

385
00:22:14,251 --> 00:22:15,252
You had a dream.

386
00:22:15,252 --> 00:22:17,754
I could see it but not touch it.

387
00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:19,381
Yeah. Like I said, that was a dream.

388
00:22:19,381 --> 00:22:20,924
The Supreme Being
didn't let us have those.

389
00:22:20,924 --> 00:22:22,217
Wow.

390
00:22:22,217 --> 00:22:25,429
But you know, it wasn't all good.
I could see bad things too.

391
00:22:25,429 --> 00:22:28,015
Well, yeah.
That's called a nightmare, Bittelig.

392
00:22:28,015 --> 00:22:31,101
Do you think that that
is what Jasper meant, huh?

393
00:22:31,101 --> 00:22:35,189
That my nightmare is what will happen
if we give the Supreme Being the map?

394
00:22:35,189 --> 00:22:38,817
I think he meant to say something
a lot worse than a nightmare,

395
00:22:38,817 --> 00:22:41,111
but Jasper did sound scared.

396
00:22:41,111 --> 00:22:43,989
Widgit, I don't want anyone else to die.

397
00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:46,116
Not after Susan.

398
00:22:46,617 --> 00:22:49,661
No. No, neither do I.
No one's gonna die, Bittelig.

399
00:22:50,454 --> 00:22:51,705
But what about Penelope?

400
00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:54,333
- Penelope! Come on.
- Oh, no.

401
00:22:59,004 --> 00:23:02,883
My muse. My muse.

402
00:23:03,425 --> 00:23:06,887
I've got a very special role for you.
Are you up to it?

403
00:23:06,887 --> 00:23:09,014
I was born to do this.

404
00:23:09,014 --> 00:23:10,557
Not really, more spawned.

405
00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:12,434
Feels like that for us, doesn't it?

406
00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:16,021
Read it, learn it, live it.
You're on in an hour.

407
00:23:16,021 --> 00:23:17,105
Okay.

408
00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:36,500
Hello again, everybody. "Shush-y."

409
00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:40,045
'Tis I, the Earl of Sandwich,
inventor of the sandwich,

410
00:23:40,045 --> 00:23:42,381
here to face my insulter.

411
00:23:42,381 --> 00:23:44,925
Choose your weapon, sir.

412
00:23:45,592 --> 00:23:47,052
Choose your weapon, sir.

413
00:23:47,928 --> 00:23:49,221
Can I choose words?

414
00:23:49,221 --> 00:23:54,101
Absolutely, sir, although
the Earl of Sandwich will be using a gun.

415
00:23:55,727 --> 00:23:58,063
And how about if I just run away?

416
00:23:58,063 --> 00:24:00,148
Absolutely, you could run away.

417
00:24:00,148 --> 00:24:03,694
I think the last person who tried to
run away was shot in the back, sir.

418
00:24:03,694 --> 00:24:06,238
- Okay, right.
- So perhaps the gun?

419
00:24:08,282 --> 00:24:09,992
Sir has chosen the gun.

420
00:24:09,992 --> 00:24:11,702
And a wonderful choice, sir.

421
00:24:11,702 --> 00:24:13,453
You know, I'm a woman,
so I probably shouldn't be--

422
00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:14,913
Absolutely, sir.

423
00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:16,164
Come along, you coward.

424
00:24:18,292 --> 00:24:19,793
Let's get to it.

425
00:24:21,295 --> 00:24:23,297
- Okay.
- Are you aware of the rules of the duel?

426
00:24:23,297 --> 00:24:24,590
Vaguely.

427
00:24:24,590 --> 00:24:26,675
We take ten paces, turn, then fire.

428
00:24:26,675 --> 00:24:28,844
- That's it. Begin.
- Okay.

429
00:24:28,844 --> 00:24:31,263
And is it after ten paces, or on t--

430
00:24:31,263 --> 00:24:35,684
One, two, three, four, five,

431
00:24:35,684 --> 00:24:39,062
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

432
00:24:44,735 --> 00:24:47,237
What-- Did you actually try to shoot me?

433
00:24:47,237 --> 00:24:49,239
Well, yes, because it's a duel.

434
00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:50,949
You were going to murder me?

435
00:24:50,949 --> 00:24:52,451
Why were you shooting at the sky?

436
00:24:52,451 --> 00:24:54,703
No one shoots to kill in a duel anymore.

437
00:24:54,703 --> 00:24:56,997
If we did that, there'd be
no one left in polite society.

438
00:24:56,997 --> 00:24:58,290
You aim to miss.

439
00:24:58,290 --> 00:25:00,501
Well, okay. I didn't know that.
I wasn't told.

440
00:25:00,501 --> 00:25:04,338
Enough of this havy-gavy business, sir.
You are a scoundrel.

441
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,591
I'm so insulted that
you would try to shoot me

442
00:25:07,591 --> 00:25:12,137
that I hereby challenge you
to another duel.

443
00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:17,267
All right.

444
00:25:17,267 --> 00:25:19,102
Places, please.

445
00:25:19,102 --> 00:25:20,729
Five minutes.

446
00:25:29,488 --> 00:25:30,614
Just to be clear--

447
00:25:30,614 --> 00:25:36,286
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

448
00:25:36,286 --> 00:25:39,498
Stop!

449
00:25:40,582 --> 00:25:41,959
Stop!

450
00:25:41,959 --> 00:25:44,461
Excuse me, we are rather
in the middle of something here.

451
00:25:44,461 --> 00:25:46,046
We're in the middle of something too.

452
00:25:46,046 --> 00:25:47,965
We're in the middle of an argument,

453
00:25:48,757 --> 00:25:53,262
for I may have valued my ambition
ahead of my friend's life.

454
00:25:53,262 --> 00:25:55,806
And for that, I'm sorry.

455
00:25:56,557 --> 00:26:02,479
You are trying to determine who is
in the right, but violence is never right.

456
00:26:03,021 --> 00:26:08,151
Forgiveness and compromise
are the harder paths to take,

457
00:26:08,151 --> 00:26:13,282
but ultimately the ones which lead to
fewer people losing the ones they love.

458
00:26:15,325 --> 00:26:21,582
If someone here today "wins,"
so much more is lost.

459
00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:26,837
A leader, or at least
someone with leadership ability.

460
00:26:27,796 --> 00:26:30,424
The inventor of the sandwich!

461
00:26:30,966 --> 00:26:33,427
A spirit gone,

462
00:26:34,511 --> 00:26:38,974
a flame doused, a mortal coil shuffled,

463
00:26:39,683 --> 00:26:44,897
a friend to someone
no longer in this world.

464
00:26:47,065 --> 00:26:49,651
- Yes. Yes.
- Thank you.

465
00:26:49,651 --> 00:26:51,278
Wow, it's--

466
00:26:52,237 --> 00:26:53,238
Judy.

467
00:26:55,199 --> 00:26:57,034
Now you've made me forget where we were.

468
00:26:57,034 --> 00:26:58,994
We have to start the count again.
Thanks a lot.

469
00:26:58,994 --> 00:27:00,245
What?

470
00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:02,372
Come on.

471
00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:08,045
- Okay. Turn around. Am I on--
- One, two...

472
00:27:15,219 --> 00:27:19,848
Three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine.

473
00:27:19,848 --> 00:27:23,352
- Fianna.
- Run. Now we run.

474
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:30,108
See? Cowards,
the whole lot of them, fleeing from--

475
00:27:30,108 --> 00:27:33,320
How dare you trespass on my dueling pit?

476
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,657
- I challenge you to a duel.
- What?

477
00:27:36,657 --> 00:27:39,701
A duel-- Is there no honor
left in this world? Second.

478
00:27:40,619 --> 00:27:42,788
Now we take ten paces, turn--

479
00:27:52,673 --> 00:27:55,759
A cowardly act, but no matter.

480
00:27:56,301 --> 00:27:58,095
The bullet did not reach my heart,

481
00:27:58,637 --> 00:28:02,140
for in my breast pocket, I have concealed...

482
00:28:03,892 --> 00:28:05,227
a sandwich.

483
00:28:05,227 --> 00:28:07,855
I can't see that stopping a bullet, sir.

484
00:28:08,856 --> 00:28:10,566
Yes. Quite right.

485
00:28:11,191 --> 00:28:12,526
My mistake.

486
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:17,656
Can't you calm her down?

487
00:28:17,656 --> 00:28:18,991
That was always the problem.

488
00:28:18,991 --> 00:28:20,784
She's so scary.

489
00:28:22,202 --> 00:28:23,579
I think we lost her.

490
00:28:23,579 --> 00:28:26,623
- Judy, it is I, Casanova.
- What are you doing here?

491
00:28:28,166 --> 00:28:29,543
I can't live without you.

492
00:28:29,543 --> 00:28:32,462
I wish you could see
yourself the way I see you.

493
00:28:33,547 --> 00:28:35,674
I just want you to know
how lovely you are.

494
00:28:35,674 --> 00:28:37,843
- Please, just stay here with me.
- Gotta go.

495
00:28:38,719 --> 00:28:39,887
We're running from a demon!

496
00:28:40,721 --> 00:28:42,556
Aren't we all running from our demons?

497
00:28:45,142 --> 00:28:47,269
I will wait for you forever.

498
00:28:47,269 --> 00:28:49,354
You are my only one.

499
00:28:52,232 --> 00:28:53,984
Who are you? So captivating.

500
00:28:53,984 --> 00:28:58,155
I'm not interested in most women, but you,
you are something special.

501
00:28:58,655 --> 00:29:00,699
Your eyes, they glow.

502
00:29:21,011 --> 00:29:24,181
Come on, you stupid rocks.

503
00:29:30,562 --> 00:29:33,148
- We lost her.
- What? Good.

504
00:29:33,148 --> 00:29:37,236
- Where is it? It's supposed to be close.
- Widgit.

505
00:29:37,945 --> 00:29:39,738
So, Alto, how was the play?

506
00:29:39,738 --> 00:29:40,822
I didn't do it.

507
00:29:41,698 --> 00:29:43,200
At least you've done other plays.

508
00:29:43,784 --> 00:29:46,203
The truth is,
I've never actually acted before.

509
00:29:46,203 --> 00:29:48,497
I just picked up a pamphlet,
saw <i>"Ham-phlet,"</i> thought,

510
00:29:48,497 --> 00:29:51,583
"I'll do that one day."
And I will. One day.

511
00:29:51,583 --> 00:29:53,877
I don't think it's called <i>"Ham-phlet."</i>

512
00:29:54,711 --> 00:29:57,130
There it is. It's open. Bandits, get in.

513
00:30:02,469 --> 00:30:05,430
Penelope,
I'm proud of you for running away.

514
00:30:05,430 --> 00:30:09,268
Self-preservation is what I do best.
That's probably what it is. In!

515
00:30:09,893 --> 00:30:12,688
This doesn't look right!